It seems like....

I have a strange family altogether. I know that my mother's side of the family is strange to say the least. I would think that luck would let my dad's side of the family be a little more normal. Well, as I have little knowledge of my dad's side of the family, any little hints I find are foreboding indeed. For instance, I don't know if we are related in some distant way, but let's hope that my dad's side of the family isn't like this man who has the same surname, for he is an odd one indeed:

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
Ogden Nash

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.
Ogden Nash

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden Nash

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Ogden Nash

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures - take them, George, they're yours!
Ogden Nash

I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
Ogden Nash

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Ogden Nash

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Ogden Nash

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
Ogden Nash

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.
Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Ogden Nash

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Ogden Nash

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Ogden Nash

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Ogden Nash

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Ogden Nash

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.
Ogden Nash

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Ogden Nash

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat.
Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash